We all live longer due to improved health and lifestyles. So ’till death do us part’ is much longer than it used to be centuries ago. Some couples like the idea that they are not linked to another person for decades. But for most couples this is not an option and adultery is a guilty secret. Disclosing infidelities can be reckless. Many people ask for an instant divorce.
Men experience far more sexual temptations than women. Women tend to take male sexual loyalty for granted without appreciating the struggle men face to avoid temptation (although many of these temptations do not represent true sexual opportunities). Some men want the opportunity to explore sex with different partners. They feel that having a lover severely limits their sexual freedom, which they see as a right. As men age, they can appreciate the stability of a long-term relationship.
Women’s unresponsiveness means they have much less to gain from casual sexual encounters. Since women do not have a sex drive and are not turned on by sexual activity, they focus much more on the non-sexual aspects of relationships: companionship, love, and affection. These aspects depend on knowing and liking a person, which takes time.
Initially, a woman is suspicious of what a man might do during a sexual encounter. She anticipates a man’s sex drive to explore a woman’s body and initiate intercourse. Similarly, a woman feels powerless due to her own passivity in approaching sexual activity without any motivation to do anything other than follow (or defend herself) whatever activity a man initiates.
Some women have a hard time saying no to male advances. They give up, but then feel regretful. They resent the fact that society (mainly other women) judges them because women don’t need sex like men do. Women are passive by nature. Within reason, women should not feel ashamed of being seduced by men, but only aware of the risks they are taking. Having the facts about your sexuality is critical for women to gain some of the confidence that men have to face the world with their heads held high.
A woman is attracted to a man’s mind: his character, his demeanor, and his attitude. The emotional drive of women does not depend on sex itself, but on feeling that a lover loves them (showing affection) and cares for them (showing interest). For most women, even the idea of sex is disgusting if they don’t feel any emotional ties to a man. Women don’t get any of the physical rewards that make sex so enjoyable for men.
Lack of confidence and self-esteem leads some women to experiment with casual sex for a time because they enjoy the novelty of being popular with men. Men find that younger, less experienced women of lower social status (be it class or race) are easier to pressure into having sex. Women gain confidence with age, experience, and when they have a social status. When a married man has an affair, his wife feels insulted for having rejected her and chosen another woman. You may refuse to have sex for emotional reasons.
Men enjoy casual sex for the opportunity to experience firsthand the variation in genital anatomy and behaviors of a new partner. Far fewer women are interested in casual sex with multiple partners. Women are not turned on by sex like men. In the long term, women often seek a relationship: companionship, affection, and support. Women appreciate the intimacy and peace of mind of knowing someone well.
The sexually confident woman, as shown in the movies, seems to wait for a man to give birth. This alleged sexual aggressiveness on the part of the modern feminist is just a political stance that has no bite. Today’s men provide what they’ve always done: vaginal thrusts to male ejaculation. Women never complain. Women don’t know what else to ask for. And if they do, they don’t have the courage to insist on it. It is the same all over the world.
Since intercourse is the default heterosexual activity, it does not require communication. The novelty of casual sex means that a man is very aroused and wants to have sex as soon as possible. You don’t want to ejaculate too soon. There are few foreplay, which takes more time to build trust and communication. Casual sex focuses on intercourse, which satisfies a man’s basic sexual needs and ends quickly for a woman.
Numerous research studies make it very clear that the people who have the best quality and the most frequent sex are married couples. That says a lot about the shortcomings of “casual sex.” (The Parrots 2009)